11/27/14

One Thanksgiving

It's a cliche but they really had forgotten to turn the oven on and our happy hour lasted much longer than planned. My sister had brought a college friend from Nebraska so she wouldn't be alone on Thanksgiving. My brother latched on to her midwestern roots and went deep into a story about tasseling corn. Children in corn country apparently pull the hair, which is really the flower, off the top. It prevents the corn from breeding and makes the ears grow bigger (or something like that).

The story had no particular point. Nebraska girl who, in fact, had never tasseled corn, tried to be polite.

Then Dad interjected. "I've just always wondered how they get them spinning in opposite directions."

Mom rose from her chair, pointed her index fingers straight out from her breasts, and began spinning them in opposite directions. "Wheeeeee," she sang.

The turkey was ready soon after.
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1 comment:

Unknown said...

That's almost, but not quite, as bad as the birthday card I received which read "Have a joyous time celebrating the day your face rubbed your mother's vagina"

November 28, 2014 at 4:07:00 PM EST

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